It’s funny to look back at this last year and think of the timeline on how life happened, how things have changed, who I was and who I have become. And by laugh, I’m genuinely laughing because it’s absolutely absurd how much trash gets thrown in my face over the course of a year while maintaining a smile on my face. So let’s take a look QuickNotes style..
- I began my year in Calgary, visiting family and reconciling a valuable friendship.
- I made connections with mentors that I learnt persistence and determination from.
- I was lost in strange transitions of negative relationships that were toxic to both myself and my job.
- I moved out to Abbotsford where I further grew my relationship with my mother, met an unequivocally beautiful human, and found a new position in an office which lead me into a course for a hopeful career.
- I lost a dear friend, found myself closer to those that knew him, and learnt a strong lesson on just how important it is to care for your mental health and to check in on loved ones.
- I found myself in the deepest, most strenuous financial circumstance that I have ever been in.. And found no way of solving it so I let myself go further into debt.
- My best friends and my mother married, and I had the honour of being in both wedding parties and remembering very little of the celebrations.
- I visited Calgary again to visit with friends and came to the realization that I should be there.
- I moved my life across the province to Alberta, found myself in this city that I feel that I belong in, and developed new friendships with people that I can’t imagine how I had lived without previously.
- I got to see my sister and nephew in my new home city, an old friend that had passed by. I got to be reminded that home is never too far away.
- I visited my home, and I cried (a lot) with joy of seeing all of the incredible humans that mean the most to me. I spent time with loved ones, watched one of my best friends enjoy finally having freedom, had the opportunity to get a memorial tattoo, and met even more amazing people throughout the trip.
Never in my life would I have imagined that I would be where I am today. Not once did I think that it could be possible to find so much joy in all of the little things while there is still so much negativity happening around me. I have lost people, I have been diagnosed with illnesses, I have been treated in ways that I don’t deserve, I have fallen over and over and fucking over again. But the devil doesn’t die. Ok, so maybe I’m not the devil but some exes may feel differently.
I have improved in so many ways; I have created a positive outlook in life, learnt to share my bed with people of value, eat and spend with balance, I began reading again… But yet, some things are still the same. I still make poor decisions with purchases, I still let toxic people into my life if I think I can help them, I still cry over everything, I still haven’t learnt how to balance my drinking without getting blackout (saving that goal for 2050), I still accumulate financial debt with my parents.. At least it’s with them and not with Visa anymore. I can go on and on and on.
But the bright side is this; I have found a new place in my life where I love myself, I love all of those around me, and I have found myself closer to my inner happiness more than ever before (And no, that’s not because I slept my way to happiness).
2019 will bring me further towards my goals. I will attain more than I ever sought possible and have continuously grown in such a short time already. I look forward to all of the good, and the bad. Because I not only learnt how to kick a bipolar psycho’s ass, but I also learnt to harvest all of the positive energy and push it towards success.
BYE BYE OLD NEESH(JK, I will never change)
Neesh Media 