I think it goes without saying that Christmas is one of those “I love this holiday but I am so overworked and so exhausted” types of holidays. (If you work in the industry that is). It really is one of those months where you feel so over-encompassed with work that you don’t really get into the holiday spirit until… well.. December 24th after the restaurant closes for the proceeding 36 hours.
But nonetheless, it is a joyous holiday. One that, even in my -what should be- misery of knowing that I am spending the holidays alone this year.. even a “grinch” such as myself buckles at her knees with excitement of knowing that she gets to brighten the faces of certain individuals she loves with even the slightest exchange of appreciation.
It may not yet be the “New year, new me” time of year, but I have spent a lot of time reflecting on the past year or two. And to be honest, the holidays don’t quite feel as they used to. Not because change is bad, or because I have grown away from family in a negative way, but because for the first time in a long time, I have felt comfortable not being home for the holidays. And by that I mean that I have felt comfortable doing so because for the first time, I am beginning to understand the depth of just what Christmas is about.
It is not about gifts, or giving back everything that you think you owe, but rather, learning to love those that surround you with unequivocal love and belief that you are apart of their lives regardless of last name. Christmas is about warmth, love, welcoming, it is about being present for those that need it the most and I will not hold back when I say that I have never witnessed so many loving, warming and welcoming hearts than I have staying in the city this year.
I should say that staying here was difficult, and it was, to know that I wouldn’t see my family Christmas morning, I miss them terribly but furthermore, I am grateful. Grateful that when I can not make it home for such a serendipitous holiday, that I have these people beside me, the ones that show value, appreciation and outright love. Friends, colleagues, regulars.. All of them have welcomed me to their lives and into their homes for festivities and for that, I can not thank them enough.
For that I want to thank all of those that have helped me through this month, the people that understand what it is like to be alone and value the simplicity of just being beside another throughout the moments that one might feel the loneliest.
To be quite honest, home has always been home, it always will be. I will forever love my family more than anything on this earth… But to be able to feel so comfortable and loved within a world that tries so hard to break you, I can not find the words to express my gratitude. This year I am happy in stating that I am staying home for Christmas, and there is no easy way to understand just how good it feels to finally say that I have two homes.
Thank you to all of my loved ones, thank you to my family and friends
Merry Christmas to you all ❤
Neesh Media 