Dating has turned into one of those super lame boardgames that you had to play as a child with your family on a Friday night. You want to sneak that extra chance card on the off chance that your older brother swiped a “Get out of Jail Free” card, and even though you win the game, you still want to accuse the other of being a fucking cheater.
Society has become a very different world since the new-age of cell phone apps such as Tinder has arrived. Let me tell you, I am thrilled that my opportunity to meet (probably unavailable, not genuinely single, only attractive in their photos) men has skyrocketed with this technology. My “dating” skills have significantly increased; and by that I mean my ability to sass my way into getting attention only to leave a short five minutes after the dinner bill is paid for.
You see, courting the woman has become a thing of the past. Men no longer feel the need to ask a girl on a date, they’d rather ask her to “Netflix and Chill” (cringy, I know). Girls no longer need to put effort into sharing their life story, because most of what a man needs to know about her before choosing to sleep with her is already publicized on their Snapchat stories and saucy Visco feeds. Why put the effort in to make a girl feel special if 6,000 of her closest followers are willing to do that work for you?
Social media has killed dating.
And I’m not only saying that because I am single.
The greatest part about this bullshit runaround of what this new generation considers dating, is that even if you spend every fucking hour of the waking day together, the moment you are alone again, you are single and you can jump right back on that little piece of heaven and find someone else to pay attention to you in a matter of a god damned second! Now if this isn’t the greatest fucking thing to have happen since 12 minute pizza than I don’t know what is?! In the blink of an eye, you can have a new guy by swiping your finger to the right. That’s hardly lifting a finger to a literal meaning.
Please don’t get me wrong here. In my days of monogamous relationships, I am all for trust and commitment (did I just use the “C” word?) but HOW do we even find something monogamous if we are all just a bunch of pansies that are afraid of titles? Copouts have been given a newfound appreciation from all of the commitment-phobes out there in the world.
“We’re only seeing each other (so I can wait for someone better to come along)”,
“I don’t want anything serious (honestly, I just want to screw you)”,
“I want to keep seeing other people (Im still fucking my ex)”,
“Let’s not do gifts this year (because then I’d be broke as hell trying to afford a gift for all of you)”.
Give me a fucking break.
Copouts are a new way to avoid honesty and monogamy. Which is funny because society now is so afraid of settling down with one person, so afraid of being vulnerable to that one person, that they can’t handle the thought of not having the ability to talk meaninglessly with six other people rather than giving one person an inside scoop on who you really are.
It’s interesting as hell to watch. And ironically enough, it’s even easier to fall into the exact cycle as everyone else is. Why would we not adapt to this new-world action since we are so aware that the old-ways of dating simply do not exist anymore? There is no sense in closing off all possibilities in hope that “Maybe Mister Right” won’t ruin you.
Dating. Fucking. Sucks.
So good luck with your cats. I know I’m happy with mine.
Neesh Media 