I know what you’re thinking. “It’s not you it’s me” is heavily played out by now. We’ve all heard it time and time again in our lives, from that first significant other that broke your heart, to the very last thing that you thought of saying to the last SO when you broke theirs. Those words are the last words, the copout words, the painful words, but sometimes they are the words that genuinely just make the most sense.
“It’s not that I don’t love you, I’m just not ready”
“I wish that we could be together, but I have things to sort out”
“I want to have my career established before I decide who I want to spend my life with”
“You’re perfect for me, but I’m not ready to settle down to one person yet”
They’re all the fucking same.
And lord knows I’ve heard them and used them myself.
So why do we seem to think that it’s so unacceptable to receive such a response? How does it makes sense that somebody is willing to divulge their lives to you, give you all of their time in the previous 12 months, bring you around family or friends, and develop a life to an extent with you when ultimately they knew that they wouldn’t be willing to do so in the end?
Well kids, that was my golden question once.
And then I became a lost-girl too.
This is my perception:
We all want to love. Truly, madly, deeply. We all want to feel something that we have never felt, so we dive right in, picking out every fluttering feeling for that exact conceptualization that we crave. We push and push, forcing this ideal reality to be true… Until you realize it’s not. Then off you go back to the real world, forcing yourself to give this “once special” person (that you promised the moons and the stars to) the very heavy reality of “It’s not you, it’s me”. Which is very much the case. You spent far far too long in your coo-coo dream world of fake love and in turn this human actually made the mistake of falling in real love with you – the idiot!
Perhaps its my upmost pisces traits that live vicariously through their dream world which allow me to justify this “fake reality” theory. But I think if we were to generalize it in a rude and blatant way… It might sound something closer to this…
They may have really enjoyed spending time with you, they liked to play house and pretend things were perfect. But ultimately, this person was never ready and should not have been giving you that time of day. It doesn’t matter how much they loved you, or will eventually realize they still love you two years after running away. The point remains the same, you deserved better, and you never deserved to feel like you were not enough.
I have been on both ends of this spectrum. I feel like a piece of shit either way. What would have made it all easier? Having the honest conversation that mistakes were made and said person simply just is not the one, or the time simply is not the right time. You might be surprised how easy life can become when you share your truths instead of acting like a p*@sy @** b*&$h. 🙂
Honesty, imagine that?
Neesh Media 