tanishaoranchuk

You are your own Worst Enemy

As I look at my life in recent times, I learn that I’ve become angry. I used to be full of joy, enthusiasm, curiosity. It used to matter more to seek to understand a person before jumping into a rage of frustration. I wonder what happened to put me here, and thought perhaps this mayContinue reading “You are your own Worst Enemy”

twenty-twenty-f***

A year’s ended. Again. As they do each year. I’m typically in a position into the new year where I am happy to review it, accept my failures, appreciate my successes. But this year feels different. I feel lost. I’m turning 30 this year, I’ve yet to figure out what it is that I amContinue reading “twenty-twenty-f***”

She is. She was. She asks.

She was a fire from within. A strength that divided the Pacific. A courage that spoke of no fear. She was ready to be perceived in the light that all who spoke of her knew… She was a leader. One whom held compassion for those she coincided with. They kept her up. They prompted herContinue reading “She is. She was. She asks.”

New Year, New Neesh?

I know what we’re thinking. “She’s not moving anymore?!” Don’t get too excited. It’s still a work in progress. The thrill of shifting and giving it all away on a regular basis is still one that daunts me with temptation. The general thought of rejoining the souls of those that mean the world to meContinue reading “New Year, New Neesh?”

Nature or..

” Once believing that there was so much good to be had Never quite realizing the bad that could be Only to one day notice the trauma that surrounded Each happy memory “ There was a day, long ago, where I could believe that life as we know it is made of colourful butterflies andContinue reading “Nature or..”

Relax???

I’ve never been great with patience. I realize that when I am angry with myself for “wasting” my day. But how often it is when that very feeling of waste is caused by an over-impeding burnout that is waiting to suffocate my every last thought into paralysis. When that wasted day may have actually beenContinue reading “Relax???”

I Don’t Always Want to be Here.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to be here. Not forever, though, at times it can feel that way. But I don’t mean that. There is this over-impeding feeling of guilt that surfaces when I consider all of my options and feel that strenuous meld of defeat that seemingly never goes away. It’s oneContinue reading “I Don’t Always Want to be Here.”

Fools.

When I first met you, I thought we’d be friends. In fact, I recall making such a statement. I had little intention of developing a physical relationship with you. That changed the evening you’d promised me you wouldn’t cross that line. I knew right then that you would. I had every intention of taking part,Continue reading “Fools.”

A Little Over-Share

I was playing crib with my best friend of 15 years this evening. We were reminiscing on the times we’d spent in our “dark days”. You know the ones. The ones that make you feel some kind of ick from the inside. The ones that make you question your sanity, your livelihood, your strength, yourContinue reading “A Little Over-Share”

Body Image Ain’t All That.

I weighed myself today. I do this every so often. But in this instance, it hadn’t happened for some time. To my (relative) surprise, I’d lost another 5lbs. Bringing my original Kelowna weight down to an outrageous total of 25lbs down. Great! Right? That’s news that we can all assume is positive. We can’t waitContinue reading “Body Image Ain’t All That.”